I was drawn to ibogaine as soon as I read about it. In retrospect, I realize I began my ibogaine experience at that time. To anyone who finds this hard to believe, I offer no apologies and respectfully suggest that what I have begun to perceive will reveal itself to them in its own time.

I have never been an addict in the conventional sense, but when I read about ibogaine, I began to sense that it could also facilitate work on the subtle addictions that permeate our culture (and therefore ourselves) — addictions to concepts, habits and dictums which often go unquestioned. These may have little to do with reality, but can easily be confused with it when taken for granted as "the way things are."

In preparation for the ibogaine experience I was asked to formulate a clear intention of what I wanted to accomplish. I intended to free myself from addiction to the consensus reality. I also asked to be shown any memories or blocks that might be impeding my growth.

A little background information might be useful at this point. My life perspective is that the entire planet is moving through an ascension process, and that a major transformation in consciousness is not only imminent but in progress right now. Many are writing, speaking, and holding workshops on this subject. It transcends the differences between groups, teachers and teachings, and is the exclusive property of none. So I approached the ibogaine experience as an ascension experience, and that is what it has been for me.

A friend and I took ibogaine two days apart; he went first. The night before he took it I began to feel dizzy, with sensations of pressure in my head. I had mild diarrhea. The head pressure continued over the two days and I woke up nauseated the morning it was my turn.

I asked myself if I was having an unconscious fear reaction, as this could certainly explain my symptoms from a psychological point of view. My mind replied that fear was an understandable thing to feel under the circumstances— after all, the consensus reality, despite its drawbacks, was comfortingly familiar.

On the other hand, I had occasionally felt headachy, dizzy, and nauseated before a spiritual experience, and the spins were sometimes a part of the ascension energy as the rate of speed increased in my physical atoms. Eventually I was feeling a profound calmness, which was to last through and beyond the ibogaine journey.

I took dramamine and some stomach settling herbs, both of which came back up immediately. The ibogaine, taken afterward, stayed down. I lay still with my eyes closed. I found myself at play in the universe of my consciousness as I had been in my very early childhood. But the childhood experience of that state had been encroached on by the stresses of life, and by the layering of memory upon memory. Now memory was fully accessible but did not intrude upon the pristine awareness of my inner self. The universe was like a huge room, my awareness stretching out over a large inwardly visible portion of the room and beyond my mind into infinity. I was easily able to hear and understand anything that was said to me and to reply, but conversation was a distraction.

Wide awake, I drifted through visual sequences like lucid dreams. If someone spoke to me I instantly and totally forgot the sequence I had been in. As the effects increased, inner dimensions became more immediate, appearing as patterned planes of light, spinning at various angles of relationship to one another. This aspect of ibogaine bore a resemblance to LSD, mescaline, and psilocybin; the overall feeling was softer than any of these (slightly reminiscent of Ecstasy) yet much more powerful, very slow moving and majestically solemn.

I was infused and in contact with the Iboga plant spirit, a vast nature diva that seemed to be walking with enormous, silent, measured steps over the earth.

I understood clearly that there were no blocks or buried memories impeding my progress. I had done my homework. I had no addiction to the consensus reality. Three themes recurred. First I saw the corner of a shed where several immaculate white trash cans stood stuffed with discarded materials. The words "industrial waste" came to me the first time I saw this, with a definite sensation of humor. This meant that my personal cleanup was done. The great event of ascension (or Remembering) in which I am an active participant would complete the cleanup for everyone. I think I saw this three times.

Second was "building a box" which was actually watching a box be unbuilt, accompanied by brief words (also humorous) describing how the top, bottom, and sides of a box could be put together and taken apart. This vision came at least twice; the box was wooden the first time, wicker the second and final time. The wicker box opened into two distinct dimensions; a beautiful smiling boy about two years old emerged into each. This sequence expressed delight in the creative ingenuity of the mind. Unlimited possibilities. The miraculous nature of existence.

The third room was "A room is the universe." A geometrical pattern or some other picture would pass before me, and my inner eye would catch and hold a tiny section of it. This would begin to expand and revolve, creating each time a beautiful new room which brought me back to my original place at play in the universe of consciousness.

During one period of what might have been an hour, I opened my eyes a few times and saw the clock on my bedside table. Each time I looked again, I was astonished that only a minute or two had passed while I moved through sequences that seemed to last several hours.

Once I opened my eyes and saw a wine glass sitting on a table. I was puzzled, as we had no such glasses. I looked closely, thinking that I was actually looking at something else or that the glass would disappear. Instead it grew clearer to my vision the closer I looked. I reached to pick it up and my fingers felt nothing. My mind decided the glass was imaginary and then it did disappear. It occurred to me to create the glass again and I was able to do so instantly. This time I picked it up and turned it over, clearly seeing the round base from underneath and up through the base to the stem and the bowl. I understood that the glass consisted of a real, non-physical light substance. I tried to solidify it and was informed in my understanding that I did not have clearance to do this— yet! I dissolved and recreated the glass a number of times.

I took ibogaine between 11 a.m. and noon. By around seven in the evening I was walking around intermittently. The effects wore off very gradually over the next day and the next. I experienced no exhaustion, irritability, or side effects of any kind. The profound calm remained throughout the experience and has in fact permanently reinforced my sense of centeredness.

I was aware of beams of energy focused from all directions to a point at my heart center. I can recreate this sensation simply by remembering it. Before ibogaine I smoked cigarettes when I was with people who smoked. I stopped and don’t miss it. Since ibogaine I haven’t smoked and have no desire to do so.

I am able to contact the energy of Iboga in the same way one contacts a higher ascended master or an angelic presence, by being in my I AM presence and desiring the contact. I’m convinced that this plant energy enjoys exploring the human mind, in other words, that an exchange is taking place.

My sense of the experience is one of having taken serious stock of myself while simultaneously having a spiritual adventure and a good rest. There is no doubt in my mind that addictions and emotional issues can be healed by working with ibogaine.

I do feel it’s important for anyone considering ibogaine to know, as almost everyone whose experience I’ve heard or read has mentioned, that it isn’t a party drug. It’s a serious encounter with the self. You are there, with everything you’ve got. And that’s all there is.

I believe ibogaine affords us glimpses into what our everyday consciousness can and will become. I’m grateful to have had the opportunity to experience it.

Other Ibogaine Experiences